FIREWORKS. are not that amazing, i mean yes they are fun to watch but really they get annoying fast. Though it is hilarious to see Elizabeth shriek at every boom.

JULY 4TH!! PICNIC in the Lewisville Square.
My god i never knew so many people could be in one place at one time.
We got there at 6:30ish and didn't leave until 10:30ish. 

We sat by these little kids. Katherine was in heaven, she took pictures of them and was like "Aww they are so cute."
She was trying to steal one, even though she denies it, she had a coloring book and bubbles to entice them.

Elizabeth was boy watching the whole time, she found one she wanted. So we made a bet.
That she had to kiss him before we left. It was only for 2.50 a little lame but i won so that was exciting.

Katherine wrote everything down in her moleskin. Anne Louise brought cupcakes which turn your mouth blue,
i saw so many slutty 13 year olds and Mrs. Muffin Top. 

So when we had started eating out lovely picnic, chicken caesar wraps provided by ebeth and fruit salad provided by katherine, elizabeth wanted some diet pepsi. So she has it out, and as she is pouring it into the red cups (looked like beer cups and were provided by katherine i think you can connect the dots) she says, we should bet who will spill something first (katherine had a few near spills) and right after she says this she puts the soda down and it tips over. Of course but it was hilarious because when we picked everything up it looked like ebeth peed on the blanket.

So here is the real story of the night. We were waiting in line to get out of the parking lot. It took forever but we played out music loud and listened to Sean Kingston...i love his song...and we had Mr. and Mrs. Muffin Top to entertain us with their headbanging and jumping out of sunroofs. So we are moving for the first time in like 20 minutes and so get to where like six cars are trying to get in and Elizabeth was driving and her motto is "This is my lane and you aren't getting in"...so you can see how that could be bad when like GIANT SUV's are revving their engines and we are in a little saturn.  So Mr. Teenage driver was like "You better let me in or I'm hitting your FUCKING car!!!!" and Elizabeth was like "You are not HITTING MY FUCKING CAR!!!!!!" and Mr Teenager was like "I AM HITTING YOUR FUCKING CAR" and Katherine and Anne Louise were whimpering in the backseat and the dude was in an SUV and was just an idiot, but he didn't get in front of us and was like ..."Fine! BITCH!!!!" and drove off. It was hilarious but Elizabeth then waved and had a huge grin on her face.

SUNDAY!

KATHERINE'S BIRTHDAY!
FINALLY SIXTEEN!!!

it was a crazy day, we all dressed up and went downtown to Mellow Mushroom. 

PICTURES!

 
 












  
It was fun, so Anne Louise and I (she was riding with me) stopped at the mall to get money from my mom for lunch today and so we were late getting downtown. So we get on the highway and were really close but then my car's speedometer started going crazy, it would drop down to 30 then I would touch the gas and it would jump to 55 or 60. It was freaking my out so then the car starts slowing down and Anne Louise is like. OH MY GOD!!!!!!!!!!! I looked in my rearview mirror and the whole back end of my car was not visible because it was covered in smoke. I get on the exit ramp the first one we come to and get to the top hoping i can make it to the gas station a few feet away and my car dies. RIght there on the exit ramp. So I am like calling Gap frantically because that is where we just were with my mom and OH MY FUCKING GOD MY CAR IS A DEAD PIECE OF SHIT. This guy helped us push the car to the gas station and we waited for my mother. I blew the engine, and i had told my father earlier that it was being weird and it made this bizarre noise but he drove it around and said it was OK. Guess it wasn't. 

So Anne Louise were  just chillin, we took sad face car is dead pictures. Then she was thirsty so we went into the gas station and she bought Canada Dry and some mentos, then we took a happy mentos picture and my mother came and called Triple A. And we made it to Mellow Mushroom. 

SAD FACE


HAPPY MENTOS FACE

Ewwww. Father's Day. At my house it was like we went back in time. "The man" just sat in front of the television. Watching mind numbing television until every limb feel asleep. While the women of the house cooked brunch, and cleaned.

So since it was Father's Day, we decided to make my father brunch. It was nice, although i kind of suck at cooking. I was only in charge of waffles and i made them way too small. Like tiny tiny so they weren't that great. And then I had to clean like the whole kitchen while my mother and sister just sat there reading the paper and looking at magazines. Like hello, i am not the only one who made the mess.

Stupid house. Though i did watch Die Hard. I love that movie. What could be better than Bruce Willis all buff and sweaty killing crazy Germans in a huge building that keeps getting blown up. Well nothing, it is like the best thing ever.

So back to being domestic, i took a break for a while. It was good too much work is bad in the summer, and Kara was having an emotional break down so i was just away watching my amazing movie and not hearing her scream.

Anyway my domesticity returned when i made an apple pie with my mother. It is an amazing pie. The apples are so good, all sugary and tasty and cinnamony. I don't think that is a word but i don't care. I'll make it a word. So now i know how to make the pie and that is going to be the next thing i do when i am bored. We have another pie crust and cutting the apples doesn't take every long. Man i am going to be so fat by the end of summer. Definitely need to start going to the YMCA with Elizabeth again. Now that she is happy.

Then tonight, we watched Borat (that is me, Katherine, Anne Louise and Elizabeth). It was at Elizabeth's and Katherine hadn't met her dog Song yet. She liked flipped out and immediately her camera was in her hand and she was posing. Apparently Katherine doesn't photograph well with pets. Who knew.

After Borat, that movie is just weird, we played Wii and i kicked butt. I am so good. I even beat Elizabeth which is amazing since she is the Queen at all the game systems. Her parents found us very amusing, at least we are good entertainment.

Friday.

Car rides suck.

I was stuck in my van with my mother and father for a very long time. I think about 12 hours. We left at 6, i didn't know they had one of those in the morning too. Well i slept in the most uncomfortable postioin for like 4 hours so that was nice. I actually managed to read 3 of my books, but my father decided he was going to toture me with his twangy music. eww. it lasted forever and there was a huge traffic jam in Altanta, apparently a truck was now an accordian. oh well that is what you get crazy drivers.

When we arrived in Jackson, Mississippi we had to go to the party at my aunts house for Conan's (cousin getting married) party. Exactly what i wanted to do after being in a car forever, go sit around with my drunk relatives. Yay. Well at least my mom was my ally, we ate and sat back and watched everyone drink guessing who would pass out first or puke. All of my cousins in Mississippi are like 10 feet tall, so lets my neck hurt that night.

Saturday.

Kara had been stuck at the airport all night. The flights were delayed and delayed and finally at 11 that night (her original flight was at 2 that afternoon) she got on the plane. And she slept in the airport and finally made it to Jackson at 9 saturday morning. So when she arrived that was fun, i had to be extremely quiet since she hadn't slept. So my mother was like i'm going to get my nails done want to come. Stupidly i said yes.

We get to the nail place and we sit down, everything is fine. The guy is doing whatever and he starts talking to me. I can't understand him, he was like whispering. And then he started talking to the woman who was painting my mother's nails in chinese. It was freaking me out. Before he painted my nails he like molested my arm. I was like dude, please this is gross. I think im going to puke right now.

So that night was the wedding. William Conan Mustain and Mary Virgina Moore. It was a nice ceremony, and for having to sit through an hour and a half mass it didn't seem that long. The priest was funny, he kept talking about how they had to work to keep the marriage and that it wasn't all fun and how it is a 50-50 chance of a lasting marriage now. It seemed like he was kind of telling them to rethink their decision but it was entertaining.

The reception afterwards was the best part of the trip. Though my mother spilled wine all over my dress right when we got there. So i wandered outside with my cousin, Ryan, he is going to be sophomore so were closest in age, and i got to watch him try and fool his parents by putting the beer he got from my older cousins in a coke can. He's a smart one. But entertaining to say the least.

Then Ryan's little sister Carolina came outside all cute and was like "Will you dance with me when the next song comes on." She is like the only little kid i can actually stand so of course i danced. They played brick house, billie jean and play that funky music white boy. It was great. My cousin John (brother to the groom) is the only one who was brave enough to actually dance. It was great even though by 11 i was completely wiped and ready to leave, so we blew bubbles as the new happy couple ran out to their car and off to the islands the next day(on a 6 a.m. flight, crazy).

Sunday.

The longest three days of my life was almost over. But we still had to go to my Aunt's house. My mom claims it was to see my grandmother (she was staying there) but i think it was a plan to torture me. She is like that. Although i had to talk to my cousin Brie's husband, who totally doesn't know how to relate to anyone and tries too hard to be accepted in the clan, i got to hear stories of all of the drunkies at the party. We finally left though, after i had the grooms cake. It was good, spicy italian cake. Better than the bride's cake.

As i said before Car rides suck. And this time Kara was in the car. So on the highway, it is like 10 minutes that we have been driving. "I'm bored, can we watch a movie". I was reading, that is what i did on the way down and i hoping to do on the way back but nope. Kara couldn't be quite for 10 minutes if her mouth was glued shut. So i had to deal with that, and then it didn't matter because i feel asleep. I swear everytime i get into a car now i just want to sleep. It doesn't matter if it is like a 5 minute drive i get instantly sleepy.

And since we had to go to my Aunts house the Sunday we didn't get to drive home that night. At about 11 we stopped at this creepy Comfort Inn, it was gross and the floor was soaking wet.

Monday.

5 hours til i was home. That is all i had to put up with. But again Kara is talking and talking and talking and talking and i swear she never runs out of things to say. And i never though i'd be happy to see the "Welcome to North Carolina" state sign. Oh the Yadkin River was a wonderful sight. And we are finally turning into the neighborhood and that is when my dad decides he is going to obey speeding laws and he drove 10 miles an hour. My god that was the longest 2 minutes of my life.  

It is Saturday. So I woke up at 9. In the morning. Eww. I didn’t know they had one of those in the morning too. I hear the phone ringing. Personally I think that is one of the worst ways to wake up. I mean a phone ringing, then you find out it wasn’t for you or it was a sales call. I hate that. 9 am. I am awake. I had some good weird dreams. Let’s just say it had a demon, a library, Elizabeth and computers. I think that is enough to say you don’t want to hear the rest.

So awake and downstairs, too early for food and so I grab my book. My Sister’s Keeper, Jodi Piccoult, I have read it before but it is so good that I still can’t put it down even though I know the end. Isn’t that amazing that words on a page are that captivating. Reading still amazes me and writing. That is what I want to do. Be one of those people who can command an audience with one page and words.

So I go on the porch, nice and quiet. It is quite warm out already. I like reading outside more than in the house because for one it is a lot quieter and I get distracted easily by hearing other conversations and for two I love the way in summer the warmth and the humidity wrap around my body like a blanket. It isn’t sticky hot breezy and cold and no matter where you move that blanket is around you keeping you warm.

So the quiet I was trying to find. It is interrupted by what sound like someone walking on the top of our porch. I am a little scared thinking that someone is up there. I mean who would want to hang out on the top of someone’s porch. So all serious I am like dad you have to come out here. There is a noise.

He listens. Patter Patter Patter. He hears it and is like it is probably a bird. Yeah, dad that is one big ass bird then. I am not convinced so I go and investigate. I walk down and into the yard, the grass crunching under my feet a tale tell sign that summer is here and there is no rain. I turn back with my hand shielding my eyes from the already blazing sun and I see a squirrel. Just standing there on the edge of my roof, and he is looking at me. Then all of a sudden another appears.

Two crazy squirrels made it up our tree in the front, onto the top of our house, to the other side and got stuck. So I sit on the grass, it is itchy, yuck. I hate it but the prospect of watching these squirrels find a way off of the roof is too much to make me move. The one squirrel is a bit more confused than the other and I think a lot more timid. He is just staring at the other. Like dude where are we?

The smart one is already formulating a plan. I don’t know how big a squirrel’s brain is but I am guessing not so big that it allows them to notice they are twenty feet in the air and they are stuck. So Mr. Dare Devil Squirrel is trying to run up the side of my house, fly across a small areas and grab onto the drain pipe which is somewhat lose. He misses. Tries again, getting more momentum. Misses and then stops. He didn’t move a muscle.

All the while the other squirrel is watching me watch his friend. Then Mr. Dare Devil is crawling up the side of the house and attaches himself to the screen on my mother’s bathroom window. It is on the same side of the house and the roof of our porch is right outside. She of course is in her bathroom and screams. Flies out of the house, high speed. “Oh My GOD!!! Did you see that, I was just minding my own business washing my face, I turn to leave, opening the blinds and a squirrel is face forward staring at me attached to my window.”

So as she runs down the stairs, my attention is fixed elsewhere listening to her shriek and I almost missed Mr. Dare Devil Squirrel. He jumped. Right off of the side of the porch roof, he flew about 2 feet out and 20 feet he fell. Then he kept going, he just bounced off of the ground and headed for the nearest tree. The Mr. Dare Devil’s friend jumped too. What are these suicidal squirrels? And how are they able to just bounce like that. It was like a bouncy ball. He just hit and bounded to the tree.

Crazy.